Your Favorite Martian – Whip Your Kids lyrics

I don't know if you're aware, but your kids suck ass
If you need someone to whip 'em then, ha... Just ask 'cause
They ain't as perfect as you say they is
They ain't perfect at all
You're raising bebe's kids

I'm sorry. I don't know you
I don't mean to get pissy
But you need to discipline your bratty kids, you hippy.
Like c'mere you little jerk
Taste the back of my palm!
But you ain't my daddy!
Nah! But I'm doing your mom!

Now I know you think they're angels
But they're driving me insane
I'll punch a baby in the face
Just for cryin' on a plane
Cause I don't mess around
You need to control 'em or I'll lose it

But I made you a drawing.

Shut the f-ck up, kid. That's stupid
Now imma get my truck
Imma load all my boys in back
Imma find out where you live and break all your toys in half
And I know it ain't your birthday
But when nobody's lookin'
Imma give you a little present

What? An ass-whoopin'!

Please may I whip your kids. Whip your kids.
Please may I whip your kids. Whip your kids.
Please may I whip your kids. Whip your kids.
Please may I whip your kids. I wanna whip your kids.
Please let me whip your kids
Please I wanna whip your kids
Please let me whip your kids
Please I wanna whip your kids

I never ever thought I'd say a kid deserved to get hit but it's obvious time-out ain't working for sh^t!
Yeah, I've seen your parenting style. It ain't all that
You gotta hit the little brat with a whiffle ball bat
'Cause this is obviously more than just a youthful rebellion
You gotta belt the little hellions with a belt when they're yellin'
'Cause you don't want me to do it
'Cause I'll paint their little brains all over the wall
When I spank 'em with a chainsaw

And why are they acting wild and loose?
If they deserve the ass-whoopin', it ain't child abuse.
When I'm tryin' to buy groceries, and they're muckin' up my style.
They're like drunkin' little midgets runnin' up and down the aisle.
Touching everything in sight, and geez for christ's sake
I think one of 'em just stuck his little p-nis in my cake
And now imma have to put it back and get a new one and it bugs me.

But mommy says I'm beautiful.
Shut the f-ck up kid, you're ugly!

Please may I whip your kids. Whip your kids.
Please may I whip your kids. Whip your kids.
Please may I whip your kids. Whip your kids.
Please may I whip your kids. I wanna whip your kids.
Please let me whip your kids
Please I wanna whip your kids
Please let me whip your kids
Please I wanna whip your kids

Please let me whip your children.
Please let me whip your kids.
I can't stand kids misbehaving, running around and disobeying.
All they need is a kick in the pants.
A punt in the butt.
A lesson that will finally shut 'em up!
Please let me whip your children.
Please let me whip your kids.

Please may I whip your kids. Whip your kids.
Please may I whip your kids. Whip your kids.
Please may I whip your kids. Whip your kids.
I'm gonna whip. I gotta whip!
Please may I whip your kids. Whip your kids.
I gotta whip!
Please may I whip your kids. Whip your kids.
Or get em out of the way.

Oh, come on people, it's a joke.
We would never hit anyone's kid, come on!
I love kids!

Come here and give me a hug you little rugrats!

Hey, what, what the, what?