Jakey – Mafia 3 // RAP REVIEW lyrics

[Intro: Paula Abdul Cold Hearted]
He's a cold-hearted snake
Look into his eyes, uh-oh
He's been tellin' lies
He's a lover boy at play
He don't play by the rules, uh-oh
Girl don't play the fool, no

[Verse 1]
I'm getting tired of this buttshit
Should we have a discussion
Why you should never pre-order games
Unless that game is Max Payne
They didn't launch at 30 frames
Doesn't crash when you wanna play
Oh and maybe a review before the drop-date
Fuck 'em they can all wait
The game is optimized like cancer in a prostate

Mafia 3 is on PC XBONE and PS4
I played it on my PC with a 1070 and a 1080p monitor
It's simple but the game runs like piss
And I can bearly even get 60 fps
And when I do the game stutters like a speech impediment
And this is what I got for 60 dead presidents


Let's do a list of cons and pros
Performance is shit, even when I'm on low
The graphics look like they're on XBOX ONE
Not that one, oke that one
You can't fast travel anywhere on the map
And the AI really likes to just take a nap
The missions get repetitive
Could have been edited
But I still played the whole game for the hell of it

[Hook]
Mafia game
You've got to get your shit straight (straight)
But I keep play and play play play
Until I get to the really good parts
And I killed a motherfucker with a goddamn shotgun

[Verse 2]
Despite all of it's flaws
There are some gold nuggets in this ass of dawg
There are some great moments of absolute bliss
So let's return to our cons and pros list

The characters are good
And the writing is great
The setting is sweet
And the radio bangs
The cutscenes look so goddamn good
That for once in a game I didn't skip some


I love the way that the combat feels
The animations when a dude gets killed
I love the fact that you can shoot while sprinting
Or even when you're sliding on top of this thing

I love kicking open doors with a shotgun
I love blind firing with a shotgun
I love executing people with a shotgun
If you play this game just please use a shotgun

I love the driving when you turn on this mode
Drifting in this never ever gets old
The music's good
The sounds are good
The blood is good, because you get to chose your own approach

Altough the stealth options are basic
And the AI just shit, let's face it
I had a lot of fun murdering racists
The open nature of the missions makes me gracious

I understand that this is a flawed game
And it deserves all the hate it has gained
But there's a lot of shit in it that appeals to me
I just think it needs polished to it's recipe


It's no way deserving of 60 bucks
But I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't fun
It's like one of the best third-person hot-dawgs I've ever had
Trapped in a moldy bun

Just wait for a Steam sale
Or maybe a bargain bin
It's a broken mess
But I'd probably play it again

The good shit is so good
But the bad shit is so bad
I hope Hangar 13 gets another chance
Like a new family stepdad (uh)

[Hook]
Mafia game
You've got to get your shit straight (straight)
But I keep play and play play play
Until I get to the really good parts
And I killed a motherfucker with a goddamn shotgun