Afroman – Crazy Rap lyrics

Wait a minute man
Ay check this out man
It was this blind man, right?
Man check this
It was this blind man, right?
He was feelin'
His way down the street
With this stick, right?
Ay, he walked past
This fish market
You know what I'm sayin'?
He stopped, he took
A deep breath, he said
Woo, good morning ladies
You like that shit man?
Ay, I got a gang of that shit, man
I tell you what
My man on the guitar
Ay, fool on the drums
Everybody just crowd
'Round the mic
I tell you all these
Motherfuckin' jokes I got man
So first I'm gonna
Start it off like this
Help me sing it home boy, come on
Said colt 45 and two zig-zags
Baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after
Dark smoke that tumbleweed
As the marijuana burn
We can take our turn
Singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong
Like Cheech and Chong
It still takes
From here to Hong Kong
So roll, roll, roll my joint
Pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin' high as hell
Flyin' through Palm Dell
Skatin' on datin' rims
So roll, roll the 83
Cadallac Coupe Caville
If my tapes and
My cds just don't sell
I bet my Cavy will
Well it was just sundown
In a small white town
They call it eastside Palm Dell
When the Afro Man walked
Through the white land
Houses went up for sale
Well I was standin' on
The corner sellin' rap cd's
When I met a little girl named Jan
I let her ride in my Caddy
'Cause I didn't know
Her daddy was the leader
Of the Ku Klux Klan
We fucked on the bed
Fucked on the flo'
Fucked so long
I grew a fuckin' afro
Then I fucked to the left
Fucked to the right
She sucked my dick
Till the shit turned white
I thought to myself
Sheeba sheeba got my
As* lookin' like a zebra
I put on my clothes
And I was on my way
Until her daddy
Pulled up in a Chevrolet
So I ran, I jumped
Out the back window
But her daddy, he was
Waitin' with a two-by-fo'
Oh, he beat me to the left
He beat me to the right
The motherfucker
Whooped my as* all night
But I ain't mad
At her prejudice dad
That's the best
Damn pussy I ever had
Got a bad of weed
And a bottle o' wine
I'm a fuck that bitch
Just one more time
Colt 45 and two zig-zags
Baby that's all we need
We can go to the park
After dark smoke
That tumbleweed
And as the marijuana burn
We can take our turn
Singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong
Like Cheech and Chong
It still takes
From here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint
Pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin' high as hell
Flyin' through Palm Dell
Skatin' on datin' rims
So roll, roll the 83
Cadallac Coupe Caville
If my tapes and
My cds just don't sell
I bet my Cavy will
I met this lady in Hollywood
She had green hair but
Damn she looked good
I took her to my house
'Cause she was fine
But she whooped out a dick
That was bigger than mine
I met this lady from Japan
Never made love
With an African
I fucked her once
I fucked her twice
I ate that pussy
Like shrimp fried rice
Don't be amazed
At the stories I tell ya
I met a woman in
The heart of Australia
Had a big butt and big titties, too
So I hopped in
Her as* like a kangaroo
See I met this woman from Hawaii
Stuck it in her as*
And she said I E
Lips was breakfast
Pussy was lunch
Then her titties busted open
With Hawaiin punch
Met Colonel Sanders wife
In the state of Kentucky
She said I'll fry some chicken
If you just fuck me
I came in her mouth
It was a crisis
I gave her my secret blend
Of herbs and spices
Colt 45 and two zig-zags
Baby that's all we need
We can go to the park
After dark smoke
That tumbleweed
And as the marijuana burn
We can take our turn
Singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong
Like Cheech and Chong
It still takes
From here to Hong Kong

I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee
Her titties were
Filled with hennessy
That country music
Really drove me crazy
But I rode that as*
And said "Yes, Miss Daisy"
Met this lady in Oklahoma
Put that pussy in a coma
Met this lady in Michigan
I can't wait till
I fuck that bitch again
Met a real black girl
Down in South Carolina
Fucked her till she
Turned into a white albina
Fucked this hooker in Iowa
I fucked her on credit
So I owe her
Fucked this girl down in Georgia
Came in her mouth
Now I thought I told ya
Met this beautiful s*** ho
She just ran 'cross
The border of Mexico
Fine young thang
Said her name's Maria
I wrapped her up
Just like a hot tortilla
I wanna get married
But I can't afford it
I know I'm a cry
When she get deported
Colt 45 and two zig-zags
Baby that's all we need
We can go to the park
After dark smoke
That tumbleweed
As the marijuana burn
We can take our turn
Singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong
Like Cheech and Chong
It still take
Ffrom here to Hong Kong

Have you ever went
Ova' a girl's house to fuck
But the pussy
Just ain't no good?
(Say what)
I mean you gettin' upset
'Cause you can't get her wet
Plus you in
The wrong neighbourhood
So you try to play it off
And eat the pussy
But it take her
So long to c**
Then a dude walk in
That's her big boyfriend
And he asks you
Where you from
(Where you from homey?)
So you wipe your mouth
And you try to explain
(I don't bang)
You start talkin' real fast
(I don't bang)
But he already mad
'Cause you fuckin' his wife
So he start beatin' on yo' as*
Now ya clothes all muddy
Ya nose all bloody
Your dick was hard
But now it's soft (what)
You thought you had
To girl to rock your world
Now you still gotta go jack off

Said Colt 45 and
Two Zig Zags
Baby that's all we need
We can go to
The park after dark
Smoke that tumbleweed
(Fades)