Frank Zappa – Dance Contest lyrics

Fz: "One of the things that I like best about playing in New York is this
Particular place, because it has-it has a stage that is conducive to, how
You say in the trade, audience participation. Now if there's one thing
That I really like, it's, uh, audience participation. Now listen... I gotta
Figure out something that I can, uh-do you think we should have another
Dance contest tonight? Oh, bey-the injured person dance contest. Well,
Let's see... Awright, I'll tell you what we're going to do. Here's a, here's
A guy who really wants to be in the dance contest aw-reety, aw-righty,
Hey. Okay.. "
Butch: "You are great, man-you are great. You are the best, baby.
Do 'Dinah-Moe Humm'
Fz: "All right, now wait a minute-what's your name? Hey, hey-what's
Your name? "
Butch: "Butch."
Fz: "Awright, the dynamic Butch. Here's a girl who wants to dance with
Butch. What's your name? "
Lena: "Lena."
Fz: "What?"
Lena: "Lena."
Fz: "Lena, meet Butch. Okay, Lena and Butch, couple number one. Hell,
Heh. Okay, let's see-that guy there, with his... That-that one there with the
Teeshirt on-no, no, the other one-this one-no, no-no no no, wait a minute,
Wait... Well, you're-actually, you're very nice, though. Would you like to
Come up here?... Okay, but d'you think you can behave yourself?... Okay,
What's your name? "
Guy: "Tom, man.(mumble, mumble} you, baby, I (mumble, mumble) (gurgle)
You (mumble, mmf, etc.) "
Guy: "Arrgh, mmmf, glurg, etc."
Fz: "Awright, now wait a minute. Awright, awright, now wait..."
Guy: "(mumble, mmf.) Ugliness! Ugliness!"
Other guy: "Frank, you're my buddy! Amh. Mmf'. '
Fz: "Awright, now wait a minute, wait a minute. I have an important message
To deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you're out there and you're
Not cute, maybe you're beautiful, I just want to tell you somethin'-there's more
Of us ugly mother-fuckers than you are, hey-y, so watch out. Now... "
Guy: (Butch?): "Will you bring my girlfriend on stage, maybe?"
Fz: "Sure. All right, now you-he wants to get his girlfriend-go get your girlfriend."
Girl: "Hey Zap!"
Fz: "Good to see you again."
Girl: "Squeak!"
Fz: "I know."
Guy: "I ain't no fucking queer."
Fz: "All right, now look, here's what we're going to do. Awright. Now. This-it'll
Be mashed, I'll save them, I'll save them for later. "
Guy: "I'm not a fucking queer."
Fz: "This man is trying desperately to let everybody know that he is not a queer.
He's not queer, he's not queer. Awright, and now. .. You are going to dance, like
You've never danced before... "