Good evening I'm from Essex
In case you couldn't tell
My given name is Dickie, I come from Billericay
And I'm doing very well
Had a love affair with Nina
In the back of my Cortina
A seasoned up hyena could not have been more obscener
She took me to the cleaners
And other misdemeanours
But I got right up between her
Rum and her Ribena
Well, you ask Joyce and Vicki
If candy-floss is sticky
I'm not a blinking thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well
I bought a lot of brandy
When I was courting Sandy
Took eight to make her randy
And all I had was shandy
Another thing with Sandy
What often came in handy
Was passing her a 'Mandy'
She didn't half go bandy
So you ask Joyce and Vicki
If I ever took the mickey
I'm not a flipping thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well
I'd rendezvous with Janet
Quite near the Isle of Thanet
She looked more like a gannet
She wasn't half a prannet
Her mother tried to ban it
Her father helped me plan it
And when I captured Janet she bruised her pomegranet
So you ask Joyce and Vicki
If I ever shaped up tricky
I'm not a blooming thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well
You should never hold a candle if you don't know where it's been
The jackpot is in the handle on a normal fruit machine
So you ask Joyce and Vicki
Who's their favourite brickie
I'm not a common thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well
I know a lovely old toe-rag obliging and noblesse
Kindly, charming shag from Shoeburyness
My given name is Dickie
I come from Billericay
I thought you'd never guess
So you ask Joyce and Vicki
A pair of squeaky chickies
I'm not a flaming thicky I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well
Oh golly, oh gosh come and lie on the couch
With a nice bit of posh from Burnham-on-Crouch
My given name is Dickie, I come from Billericay
And I ain't a sloutch
So you ask Joyce and Vicki
About Billericay Dickie
I ain't an effin' thicky
You ask Joyce and Vicki
And I'm doing very well
(spoken) Good evening I'm from Essex In case you couldn't tell My given name is Dickie, I come from Billericay And I'm doing very well Had a love affair with Nina In the back of my Cortina A seasoned up hyena could not have been more obscener She took me to the cleaners And other misdemeanours But I got right up between her Rum and her Ribena Well, you ask Joyce and Vicki If candy-floss is sticky I'm not a blinking thicky I'm Billericay Dickie And I'm doing very well I bought a lot of brandy When I was courting Sandy Took eight to make her randy And all I had was shandy Another thing with Sandy What often came in handy Was passing her a 'Mandy' She didn't half go bandy So you ask Joyce and Vicki If I ever took the mickey I'm not a flipping thicky I'm Billericay Dickie And I'm doing very well I'd rendezvous with Janet Quite near the Isle of Thanet She looked more like a gannet She wasn't half a prannet Her mother tried to ban it Her father helped me plan it And when I captured Janet she bruised her pomegranet So you ask Joyce and Vicki If I ever shaped up tricky I'm not a blooming thicky I'm Billericay Dickie And I'm doing very well You should never hold a candle if you don't know where it's been The jackpot is in the handle on a normal fruit machine So you ask Joyce and Vicki Who's their favourite brickie I'm not a common thicky I'm Billericay Dickie And I'm doing very well I know a lovely old toe-rag obliging and noblesse Kindly, charming shag from Shoeburyness My given name is Dickie I come from Billericay I thought you'd never guess So you ask Joyce and Vicki A pair of squeaky chickies I'm not a flaming thicky I'm Billericay Dickie And I'm doing very well Oh golly, oh gosh come and lie on the couch With a nice bit of posh from Burnham-on-Crouch My given name is Dickie, I come from Billericay And I ain't a sloutch So you ask Joyce and Vicki About Billericay Dickie I ain't an effin' thicky You ask Joyce and Vicki And I'm doing very well Explain Request ×
Lyrics taken from
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