NF – Mansion lyrics

Insidious is blind inception
What's reality with all these questions?
Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in (slept in)

Broken legs but I chase perfection
These walls are my blank expression
My mind is a home I'm trapped in
And it's lonely inside this mansion

Yo. My mind is a house with walls covered in lyrics
They're all over the place, there's songs in the mirrors
Written all over the floors, all over the chairs
And you get the uncut version of life when I go downstairs

That's where I write when I'm in a bad place and need to release
And let out the version of NF you don't want to see
I put holes in the walls with both of my fists 'til they bleed
You might get a glimpse of how I cope with all this anger in me

Physically abused, now that's the room that I don't want to be in
That picture ain't blurry at all, I just don't want to see it
And these walls ain't blank, I just think I don't want to see 'em
But why not? I'm in here, so I might as well read 'em!

I gotta thank you for this anger that I carry around
Wish I could take a match and burn this whole room to the ground
Matter of fact I think I'm a burn this room right now!
So now this memory for some reason just won't come down!

You used to put me in the corner, so you could see the fear in my eyes
Then took me downstairs and beat me 'til I screamed and I cried!
Congratulations, you'll always have a room in my mind
But I'ma keep the door shut and lock the lyrics inside!

Insidious is blind inception
What's reality with all these questions?
Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in (slept in)

Broken legs but I chase perfection
These walls are my blank expression
My mind is a home I'm trapped in
And it's lonely inside this mansion (inside this mansion)

Yo my mind is a house with walls covered in pain
See my problem is I don't fix things I just try to repaint
Cover em up, like it never happened Say I wish I could change.
Are you confused? Come upstairs and I'll show you what I mean.

This room's full of regrets, just keeps getting fuller it seems
The moment I walk in to it is the same moment that I wanna leave
I get sick to my stomach every time I look at these things
But it's hard to look past when this is the room where I sleep

I look around. One of the worst things I wrote on these walls
Was the moment I realized that I was losing my mom
And one of the first things I wrote was "I wish I would've called"
But I should just stop now, we ain't got enough room in this song

And I regret the fact that I struggled trying to find who I am
And I lie to myself and say I do the best that I can
Shrug it off like it ain't nothing like it's out of my hands
Then get ticked off whenever I see it affecting my plans

And I regret watching these trust issues eat me alive
And at the rate I'm going they'll probably still be there when I die
Congratulations, you'll always have a room in my mind
The question is: Will I ever clean the walls off in time?

Insidious is blind inception
What's reality with all these questions?
Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in (slept in)

Broken legs but I chase perfection
These walls are my blank expression
My mind is a home I'm trapped in
And it's lonely inside this mansion (inside this mansion)

So this part of my house, no one's been in it for years
I built the safe room and I don't let no one in there
'Cause if I do, there's a chance that they might disappear
And not come back and I admit I am emotionally scared

To let anyone inside so I just leave my doors locked
You might get other doors to open up but this doors not
'Cause I don't want you to have the opportunity to hurt me
And I'll be the only person that I can blame when you desert me

I'm barricaded inside
So stop watching!
I'm not coming to the door!
So stop knocking! Stop knocking!
I'm trapped here
God keep saying I'm not locked in!
I chose this! I am lost in my own conscience!

I know that shutting the world out ain't solving the problem!
But I didn't build this house because I thought it would solve 'em!
I built it because I thought that it would be safer in there!
But it's not, I'm not the only thing that's living in here!

Fear came to my house years ago I let 'em in
Maybe that's the problem 'cause I've been dealing with this ever since
I thought that he would leave, but it's obvious he never did
He must have picked the room and got comfortable and settled in

Now I'm in the position it's either sit here and let him win
Or put him back outside where he came from, but I never can
'Cause in order to do that I'd have to open the doors
Is that me or the fear talking? I don't know anymore.

It's lonely
Oh yeah, it's lonely

Inside this mansion