Patti LuPone – The "Q" Man Loves Nobody lyrics

Baby, you were crazy if ya thought I loved ya
‘Cause the "Q" man loves nobody but himself
I never knew how twisted a fella could be
Hey, I guess it’s good I never told ya I’m into pee

Don’t you ever listen to your inner conscience
Oh, I’m sorry, babe, I wasn’t listenin’ what?
You really are a total scum
If only you could see the man that you’ve become

Baby you were crazy if ya thought I loved ya
‘Cause the "Q" man loves nobody
You really love nobody?
And, boy, I mean nobody
And boy you mean nobody
But my own sweet flippin’ self

All right, whatever your problem is7y
Just get it off your breast, chest

I thought you gave me your heart
I gave you VD, isn’t that enough?
You said that we’d never part
Oh, I was just kiddin’

You gave me your lover’s vow
Ha, if you really thought I meant it
You ought to get your head examined right now

You’d tell me you’d never stray
Well, that’s ‘cause we hadn’t had sex yet
And then you just walked away.
Ain’t I a stinker
Your attitude really stank
Look, you don’t need to be a genius to see
That I was givin’ you the yank yank

What else did you BS me about?
Well, since you asked

Remember when I said that I was goin’ down the block
To grab a couple boozers with a pal?
Yeah, you had a friend from college that you had to meet
Nah, I was at the women’s shoe store lookin’ at feet
(What?)

‘Member when I said I had a dental checkup
Well, let me say I give quite a root canal, oh right
You promised me that you’d be true
Hey, to me you’re just vagina number 602

Baby, you were crazy if ya thought I loved ya
‘Cause the "Q" man loves nobody
You really love nobody?
And boy I mean nobody
And boy you mean nobody but my own
Sweet flippin’ self

What do you have to say for yourself, you slime?
Can I just squeeze your left tit a little bit?

You’re the most insensitive man I’ve ever met
Oh, that’s not true, I’ve got feelings same as the next guy
Why, last week, my grandma died, I was really upset
Oh, I’m sorry
So how ‘bout a hand job?

‘Cause the "Q" man loves nobody
You really love nobody?
And boy I mean nobody
And boy you mean nobody
But my own sweet flippin’ self

C’mon, honey, I’ll make it up to you
I’ll buy you some lingerie
Giggity, giggity, giggity, giggity