Shel Silverstein – Raquel Welch lyrics

I been collectin' matches for 20 years or more
I got about a hundred thousand books of 'em,
Sittin' in my end table draw
So that if Raquel Welch comes knockin' at my door
And asks me for a match, for her cigarette...
I'll be ready
[spoken at lightning speed...]
I was sit around in my underwear,
Watchin' Gunsmoke, drinkin' a cold beer
When all of a sudden I hear a knock at the door.
I say "Who's there",
I think it's the guy downstairs come up to borrow somethin',
"Just me".
I say, "Who's me"
She said, "Raquel Welch"
I say hey, come on with that, she ain't Raquel
I said, "But what the hell".
I think it's some chick anyway and that's better than nothin'
"I'm just walkin' through visitin' my old mother around the corner
And since I'm slummin' through, I thought I'd come in".
I said, "Yeah, come on in"
She said "I just wanna light up a cigarette
And I figured I'd need a match".
"Hey listen, match. I got a lotta matches", I said,
"Come in and get a match".
I went over and got that damn match and lit up her cigarette
And she went "Aahhhh... that feels good".
She said, "You have no idea how that cigarette tastes".
I said, "Yeah, why don't you sit a while?
You wanna watch Gunsmoke?"
She said, "I really don't watch TV"
I said, "You wanna listen to music?"
She said, "OK".
So I went there and put on some good sounds.
I say, "Hey, your feet must be tired from walkin' around.
Do you wanna take your shoes off, sorta sit around?"
She said, "Well, if you don't mind"
Snd she sits down.
"Is this light botherin' you? A little too bright?"
She said, "Yeah, a little too bright"
Then I said, "You wanna slip into somethin' a little more comfortable?"
And the next thing you know,
We're goin' steady...yeah.
Why?
Cause I was ready!