South Park – Prostitute Song lyrics

Chef: Hello there, children!
Children: Hey, Chef
Stan: Chef, what's a prostitute?
Chef: Dag-nabbit children! How come every time you come in here
You gotta be askin' me questons that I shouldn't be answering?!
"Chef, what's the clitoris?" "What's a lesbian, Chef?" "How come they
Call it a rim jub, Chef? " For once, can't just come in here and say,
"Hi Chef. Nice day, isn't it?"
Stan: Hi Chef. Nice day, isn't it?
Chef: It sure is! Thank you.
Stan: Chef, what's a prostitute?
Chef: Uh uh! You children are gonna get me in trouble with the principal again.
Cartman: Lunchtime! I'm starved!
Chef: Oh my God. Eric?
Cartman: That's me.
Stan: Chef was just about to tell us what a protitute is.
Chef: Why do you need to know what a prostitue is anyway?!
Stan: Because Jesus told us that Kenny's a prostitute. Is he?
Kenny: Yeah. Am I?
Chef: Well, no, uh of course Kenny is not a prostitute.
Kyle: Why?
Chef: Well, because, children, a prostitute is someone who...
You could pay for certain services.
Stan: Like what?
Chef: Like keeping you company. Understand?
Stan: No.
Chef: You see, chidren, sometimes a man needs to be with a woman.
But sometimes, when the lovin' is over, the woman just wants to talk and talk
And talk and talk.

[song]
But a prostitute is someone who would love you
No matter who you are, or what you look like.
Yes, it's true, children.
That's not why you pay a prostitute,
No, you don't pay her to stay, you pay her to leave afterwards.
That's why I pays a lot for prostitutes! Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. James Taylor.

James Taylor: A prostitute is like any other woman
They all trade somethin' for s** and they do it well.
Chef: And that's why I say-
Chef and James Taylor: Prostitutes! Prostitutes! They-
Chef: Oohhhh [sees principal]
James Taylor, what the hell are you doin' in here?!
Singing' about prostitutes to the children! Get out of here!