Stan Freberg – Christmas Dragnet lyrics

This is the season.
My name's Wednesday.
My partner's Frank Jones.
The Chief's name is Captain Kellogg.

December the 24th, Christmas Eve.
They brought in a guy named 'Grudge'.
When I heard what they booked him on, my blood ran cold.
It was a 4096325- 096704: not believing in Santa Claus.

4: 35 P. M.
I was working the holiday watch out of homicide with Frank.

"Hang up your stocking yet, Joe?"

"Yeah, just before I come down. You too Frank?"

"Alway do.
Hung it up early just in case I have'ta work late tonight.
Wouldn't wanna miss out on when Santa Claus comes you know. "

"Sure wouldn't, be a shame."

"Whatcha gonna do tomorrow, Joe?
Whatcha gonna do on Christmas, got any plans? "

"Nothin' much."

"Why don't you come by the house Joe?
We're gonna have Christmas dinner.
You know, all the trimmings:
Turkey, celery stuffing, oysters maybe.
Chestnuts, all the trimmings, you know.
Cranberry sauce, love'ta have ya.
The Missus always fixes a plate of relish
With them little carrot sticks.
You know, olives, pickles, scallions.
Most people call them green onions, but they're really scallions.
Did you ever notice that Joe? "

"Notice what Frank?"

"How most people call them green onions but they're really scallions."

"Uh-huh. Scallions."

"Anytime after two, Joe. Love ta have ya."

"Uh-huh. Well I'll see."

"Love ta have ya."

"Uh-huh. Well, I'll see."

"Love ta have ya."

"Uh-huh. Well, I'll see."

"Missus always fixes a plate of relish with them little carrot sticks.
You know - olives, pickles, scallions. "-ac