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Saturday Night Live – Wolverines lyrics
[ Open to a small room with two men sitting in chairs ]
Professor: Let us begin. Repeat after me.
[ European Immigrant in tight-mouthed concentration, nods ]
Professor: I would like.....
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] I would like....
Professor: ....to feed your fingertips....
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent] ....to feed yur fingerteeps....
Professor: ...to the wolverines.
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] ....to de wolver-eenes.
Professor: Next, I am afraid....
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] I em afred...
Professor: ...we are out...
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] ...we are out...
Professor: ...of badgers.
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] ...of badjurs.
Professor: Would you accept...
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] Would you accept...
Professor: ...a wolverine...
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] ...a wolver-eene...
Professor: ...in it's place?
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] ...een es place.
Professor: Next, "Hey," Ned exclaimed...
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] "Hey," Ned asclaimed...
Professor: "let's boil...
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] "let's boil...
Professor: ...the wolverines."
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] ...the wolver-eenes."
Professor: Next...
[ The Professor suddenly gasps, clutches his chest, and falls off his chair to the floor, obviously stricken with a heart attack. The Immigrant looks puzzled for a moment, then repeats the Professors gasp, clutches his chest, and throws himself on the floor. ]
[ Stage Manager enters the scene, peers at the two lifeless figures and looks into the camera and smiles. ]
Stage Manager: Live from New York.. it's Saturday Night!
Professor: Let us begin. Repeat after me.
[ European Immigrant in tight-mouthed concentration, nods ]
Professor: I would like.....
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] I would like....
Professor: ....to feed your fingertips....
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent] ....to feed yur fingerteeps....
Professor: ...to the wolverines.
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] ....to de wolver-eenes.
Professor: Next, I am afraid....
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] I em afred...
Professor: ...we are out...
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] ...we are out...
Professor: ...of badgers.
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] ...of badjurs.
Professor: Would you accept...
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] Would you accept...
Professor: ...a wolverine...
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] ...a wolver-eene...
Professor: ...in it's place?
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] ...een es place.
Professor: Next, "Hey," Ned exclaimed...
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] "Hey," Ned asclaimed...
Professor: "let's boil...
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] "let's boil...
Professor: ...the wolverines."
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] ...the wolver-eenes."
Professor: Next...
[ The Professor suddenly gasps, clutches his chest, and falls off his chair to the floor, obviously stricken with a heart attack. The Immigrant looks puzzled for a moment, then repeats the Professors gasp, clutches his chest, and throws himself on the floor. ]
[ Stage Manager enters the scene, peers at the two lifeless figures and looks into the camera and smiles. ]
Stage Manager: Live from New York.. it's Saturday Night!
Lyrics taken from
/saturday_night_live-wolverines-1545741.html