I think of something totally different. My husband, who I have been married to for 4 years, has a mistress. We were high school lovers, everyone thought we would marry. We were always together, from the time we were barely 15 years old until the middle of our high school senior year. He always had this problem even back then, and now we are 48 years old. I knew better when I was a naive kid, and I walked away from him. He has the same mistress - it is his addiction to drugs and drinking. Twenty-five years later, I wanted to recapture that dream. I forgot to factor in the mistress and how I felt then and now. It has been hell and heaven rolled into these four years.