When you're having a bad season it's like time won't pass anymore, it gets tough for you to get through a new day which seems it's going to be like the last ones have been. You end up feeling that you can't live your own life, not because you're not the person you want to be but because all goes the way you don't want it to be so you want to escape from yourself as you think the reason of your disgrace is just you and cannot do anything for it to get better. When you look yourself in a mirror, you see the darkness and the sadness that is eating you and it gets worse when you realize that. The only way which seems the solution is to cause yourself pain, just to feel you're still alive and forget about the other feelings. In my case, I decided to practice sports to feel physical pain instead of the psychological ones and to skip meals saying I was just nervous and couldn't eat but other people need to feel a more intense pain to forget so they find themselves cutting their bodies. It's not as easy as it seems for everybody, I have been "lucky", some other haven't.