(I shared this a few months ago, while I was not logged in, and so just wanted to again).
I have been suicidal for years, since I was nine years old. Severe depression, mental disorders, addicting to cutting and general self destruction, you name it, I have it. Then just recently, my best friend has been going through some really though times, that has changed this sweet, funny, wonderful guy who always made everyone happy, into someone who hates the world, just wants to be alone, and who has started branding himself. Burning letters into his flesh. It kills me every time I think about it. He told me the other night to "stop being so offended and needy", and that he needs his space, at least for the time being. I am able to understand where he is coming from, but I'm still upset. And hurt. I have my "playlist" that I turn on when I want to escape the world (mainly, but not completely, consisting of Red, Breaking Benjamin, and Staind). "Lullaby" is one of the songs there. Generally I hate "happy, feel good music", but this one. This one just makes me cry. Because even though these people have never and never will meet me personally, or know who I am, this is me. I have been grasping at anything that will keep me alive. I needed a lullaby.