Or, you are seeking spiritual/religious enlightenment but don't know where to start because your body is ruled by your heart - the physical world - and you don't know how to unlock it despite following the teachings of Catholicism to release your soul, which wants to be free but is suffering from captivity in a tomb of flesh. You believe that the physical world must be good because God created it but free will has resulted in you committing sin and unknowingly handing your soul over to Satan. You pray but Satan, not God, hears/answers you. You're not afraid to die because you believe (mistakenly) your soul will go to heaven but only when you die will you realize that your soul will continue to be reincarnated in this world so you suffer hell cycles of birth/death/reincarnation over and over again.
See also A National Acrobat, Spiral Architect, Symptom of the Universe & Cathar heresy!