Crypt – The End lyrics

[Verse]
Here I am
Standing in this chair
Rope around my neck
I feel like no one cares
I'm hopeless
I try to talk to God
But it seems like I don't have a prayer
Why can't I just be a normal man?
Why can't I be loved?
I don't understand why I'm not good enough
I gave it all I had, now I'm giving up
And now the only thing I trust is this trust
They always told me I should pray
They always told me God would take away this pain
They always told me time would make it go away
They always told me stick it out, you'll be okay
But I'm not, and I haven't been
My life is a wreck, like it's an accident
So, I'll count to 10
And when I hit that last number
I'll be numb and hope this madness ends
1, I remember when she cheated
My heart was broken into several pieces
2, I was just another dude
But you told me that I was the one for you so
3, 4, 5, Why'd he have to die?
Best friend was drunk
But still, they let him drive
Off the right side of the road
He was thrown through the window into the sky
6, Grandma can not meet my kids
She went to Heaven January 25th
I wasn't ready for her life to end
I had so many questions to ask her
But now I can't so
7, 8, Hope I fall straight
With all my weight, my neck should break and
I will suffocate
9, 10, I begin to descend
Close my eyes and know my life [?]
Rope tightens and my neck squeezes
My eyes open wide I'm barely breathing
And I can not even try to save myself
Cause I tied my hands behind my back
I can't believe it
I just wanted to be done with all this pain
That my life has brought on me
I googled how to do this
But it ain't say nothin bout all the regrets
I'd prolly see
I start to panic cause my life will vanish any second now
And no one's here with me
I could of probly managed any sadness that I had
But half the time I felt like no one's listening
God please! Help me now
I'm not ready to go, but I'm blacking out
I'm not tappin, but my life is flashin as I'm passin
And I'm scared of where I'm headed now
The last thing I remembered seeing
Before my eyes sealed shut tight
Was a picture of my mom hanging on my wall
Staring back into my eyes
And instantly, I regretted it
And I don't know if I'm Hell or Heaven sent
But I know it's a mistake
I didn't take away this pain
I passed it to my relatives
How could I be so selfish?
I only ever thought of me
I could've called any one to help but
I just soaked in all my misery
Now my mom's gonna find me hanging there
And I know it's gonna mess her up
She's gonna blame herself
And think she wasn't there
As she buries her own younger son
And my parent's marriage starts to fail
Cause what kept em glued is under coffin nails
Cause it's hard to love
When a part of your heart
Is torn apart and no longer there
And my brothers and sisters
Will be with one less sibling
Thinking about the signs that they were missing
And they'll take the blame for it but it's not there fault
Every thought of it is like [?]
And I'm sorry
It never even came across my mind that y'all
Could help me
So many thought went through my mind
That I forgot about you
Honestly, it's overwhelming
To my niece and nephew, I'm sorry too
Y'all just think I'm sleeping but it isn't true
I'm gone and I'm never coming back
I wasn't thinking, I just made a selfish act
My world begins to fade away
My breathing slows with every breath I take
Every thought of every person I've ever loved
Has made it's way into my brain
And I'm full of nothing but regret
But it's too late to change what I've done
My whole life I felt like I'm depressed
But life had only just begun