Hank Green – This Isn't Hogwarts! lyrics

I hate this place
I can barely keep the misery off my face
Yeah there's on place I'd mush rather be
Takin transfiguration and arithmancy
And hangin' with my friends in the owlerey
But instead I'm learning parts of speech
And trying not to fall asleep
And avoiding the only girl in school who might like me

It's so grotesque
When the quy sittin next to me drools all over his desk
And I almost raise my hand to complain
But then I realise that I wanna be doin the same
So I put my head down on my desk as well
And suddenly I'm learning a spell
To make my teacher's head swell
But then he wakes me up, and I can't help but yell
ENORGIO!

This isn't hogwarts!
This is a concrete box
And the pictures on the wall are never gonna talk
And the teachers don't care that the kids don't try
And the most magical thing we have is florecent lights
And they don't put you in hufflepuff if your not cool
Instead they sort you in the parking lot after school
And I think if I looked into the mirror of erised
I'd be wearing wizard robes with gold and red
I'm not saying I'm not proud to be a nerd
But public school aint no place for a wizard
Yeah public school aint no place for a wizard

You know what's gross
When the lunch meat looks like three day old soggy toast
But as I ate it anyway I overheared
This guy I hardly know calling me a nerd
So I cast semprum sempra on him inside my mind
I wish there were house elves making my food
And everything was perfectly spiced
And the only one being rude was the poltergeist

And here's what's true
I'd do pretty much anything to go to wizard school
I'd even call delores umbrige my friend
If it ment I'd never have to go to gym again
But I look around at all of this crap that's part of my life
No ghosts stalkin the halls
Or hangin in the bathroom stalls
And the stairs don't move cuz there's no stairs at all

This isn't hogwarts!
This is a concrete box
And the pictures on the wall are never gonna talk
And the teachers don't care that the kids don't try
And the most magical thing we have is florecent lights
And they don't put you in hufflepuff if your not cool
Instead they sort you in the parking lot after school
And I think if I looked into the mirror of erised
I'd be wearing wizard robes with gold and red
I'm not saying I'm not proud to be a nerd
But public school aint no place for a wizard
Yeah public school aint no place for a wizard