Hudson & Landry – Ajax Airlines lyrics

A= Airline Clerk
D= Drunk

{phone ringing}
A: Ajax Airlines.
D: Ajax Airlines.
A: That's right sir.
The proud bird with the cast iron tail.
D: Ah stow the commercial Charlie Brown.
I just wanna know what time your Eleven O Six
Leaves for San Antonio?
A: It leaves at 11:06
D: Okay.
A: We have tourist and first class.
D: Oh that's all right.
A: In first class you get an extra vegetable.
D: Huh?
A: You can get an extra vegetable in first class.
D: Okay, I'll take an onion.
A: We're going to have some turbulance.
D: No. I'll stick with the onion.
Do you serve Chinese food?
A: Yes we serve everybody food.
D: Do you serve {censored}?
A: Sir, I'm going to forget you said that.
D: You're one ain't cha?
A: Say let's get back to the flight now.
This is a non-stop flight you know.
D: How much are hostresses?
A: Oh they're beautiful.
D: Are they topless?
A: No sir, regulations, they must wear hats.
D: Do they mess around?
A: Look do you want to go on this flight or don't you?
D: What's your movie?
A: Uh no movie on this flight.
D: No movie?
A: No sir, a rodeo.
D: That's fantastic, I'll bet you clean up on that huh.
A: Uh no sir, the stewardesses take care of that.
D: Are they topless?
A: Sounds like you have a one track mind.
D: Sounds like you never saw a topless hostess.
A: Sir. Please. Look, I'm very busy.
D: And I'm just a nobody. Is that it?
A: Now I didn't say that.
D: Just remember I'm a V.I.Q.
A: P.
D: Huh?
A: P. P. You're a V.I.P.!
D: Well then treat me like one you communist.
A: Oh sir, sir.
D: Hey what's San Antonio like this time of year anyway?
A: Oh it's beautiful. Is this going to be a round trip?
D: No way. I'm just gonna fly down there and turn around
And fly right back.
A: Now we're getting nowhere.
D: Well thanks to me.
A: Amen.
D: Boy. Did I eat that onion already?
Help me check this sucker out now.
She leaves at 7:47
A: Uh no. No, the plane is a 747. It leaves at 11:06.
D: 10-4
A: Okay. Well Goodbye...
D: Hold it. Just a minute here.
A: Sir I'm very busy.
D: Well how about me? I'm running around like a chicken with my
Legs cut off.
A: Oh boy.
D: Operater, would you trace this call and tell me where I am?
A: Sir, this is Ajax Airlines.
D: Cancel the call operater. This is Ajax Airlines?
A: Ajax Airlines. Remember it costs no more to relax
In the heavenly skys of Ajax.
D: Well now we're getting nowhere.
A: Thanks to you.
D: Amen.
A: Sir you're holding up customers.
D: I'm holding up customers? You got a lot of nerve,
For the charges you price.
A: Sir I am very busy. I've got two calls to make, five on hold, and
Seven lines blinking.
D: And a partridge in a pear tree.
A: Well that does it!
D: Well it's about time.
A: It's about time.
D: Time. Oh my gosh. Time. What time does the Eleven O Six
Leave for San Antonio?
A: In exactly three minutes.
D: Hold that plane.
A: I can't do that.
D: You better hold that plane.
A: Look sir, don't threaten me.
D: I'm not threatening, I'm just telling you better hold that plane.
A: Why should we hold the plane for you?
D: Because I'm the pilot.