Kinky Friedman – Ahab The Arab lyrics

Let me tell you 'bout Ahab The Arab
The Sheik of the burning sand
He had emeralds and rubies just a dripping offa him
And a ring on every finger of his hands
He wore a big ol' turban wrapped around his head
And a scimitar by his side
And every evenin' about midnight
He'd jump on his camel named Clyde... And ride
Spoken
Silently through the night to the sultan's tent where he would secretly meet up with Fatima of the Seven Veils, the swingingest number one dancer in the Sultan's whole harem, 'cause, like him and her had a thing going, you know, and they'd been carrying on for some time now behind the Sultan's back and you could hear him talk to his camel as he rode out across the dunes, his voice would cut through the still night desert air and he'd say [imitate Arabic speech], which is Arabic for, "Stop,Clyde"! And Clyde'd say, [imitate camel voice],Which is camel for " What the heck did he say anyway? "!
Well...he brought his camel to a screeching halt
In the rear of Fatima's tent.
Jumped off Clyde, snuck around the corner and into the tent he went.
There he saw Fatima, laying on a Zebra skin rug,
With rings on her fingers and bells on her toes
And a bone in her nose ho, ho.
Spoken
There she was, friends and neighbors, laying there in all her radiant beauty. Eating on a raisin, and a grape, and an apricot, a pomegranate, a bowl of chitterlings, two bananas, three Hershey bars, and sipping on a "ROC" Co-Cola, listening to her transistor, watching the Grand Ole Opry, and reading Mad magazine while she sung, "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose it's Flavor?" And Ahab walked up to her and he'd say [imitate Arabic], which is Arabic for, "Let's twist again like we did last summer, baby" [giggles]. And she'd say [coy, girlish laugh] "Crazy baby"!
[Background singers] Turn around, turn around, turn around, turn around, turn around.
All of a sudden, the Sultan walked in.
Ahab knew that this was the end.
Him and Fatima was caught by surprise,
And the Sultan had fire flashing outta his eyes.
Well, the Sultan charged at Ahab, intending to make a dent...in his head.
But he fled with Fatima, and out of the tent they went.
They jumped on Clyde and started to ride,
Cutting out across the sand,
With the Sultan's whole army in hot pursuit...on and on they ran.
Spoken
Well, to make a long story short, they got away, cause there weren't no animal alive what could keep up with Clyde once he got started. Cuz he was the swiftest steed on the whole desert, babies. And they made it across the border, where he had hocked all his rubies and emeralds and they bought 'em a swinging little split-level pad and lived happy ever after.
Yeah, and that's the story 'bout Ahab the Arab
The Sheik of the Burnin' sand
Ahab the Arab
The swinging Sheik of the burnin' sand.