Martin Mull – They Never Met lyrics

[verse]
The boy was almost 48 years old
All he'd ever gone to bed with was a cold
And he said to his momma momma I'm afraid it's true
Only woman that could love me is you

[verse]
The girl could almost drink her age in beer
Couple cases give or take a year
She worked at the hospital hey lots of people do
That's where they fell in love oh God I wish that was true

[bridge]
But they never met not even briefly
I know what you thought you thought that they might
Now what was the problem the problem was chiefly
She worked the day shift and he worked the night

[bridge]
They never met not even informally
I know you thought things like this work out right
No no they never met not even abnormally
She worked the day shift and he worked the night

[verse]
And now the boy is almost 59
You ask him "how's it goin' Frank?", he says "fine"
And what's become of momma well momma's in a better place
And he points his finger right straight out in space

[verse]
The girl is finally chief admitting nurse
Considering what she had for brains it could be worse
She could have been a victim of the dreaded Asian flu
She could have had to live with you know who

[bridge]
But they never met not even briefly
I know what you thought you thought that they might
Now what was the problem the problem was chiefly
She worked the day shift and he worked the night

[verse]
And now the boy has gone to meet his mom
Natural causes the bottle not the bomb
They found him in the dining room his face was in a stew
They dressed him in suit of shiny blue

[verse]
And that same year the girl gave up the ghost
The minister said she'd be missed the most
Her patients cried a tear recalling how she'd signed the cast
The nurses said she'd find a man at last

[bridge]
But they never met not even briefly
I know what you thought you thought that they might
Now what was the problem the problem was chiefly
She worked the day shift and he worked the night

[bridge]
But they never met not even in spirit
I know you thought things like this work out right
Oh no she went to heaven and he's nowhere near it

[outro]
She worked the day shift and he worked the night