Mc Spandex – Performance lyrics

I know you don't understand...
How could I spend 5 grand on a bike?
You think that's absurd,
Well there's only 1 answer,
And there's only 1 word,
It's Performance!
I don't think you understand,
Riding with finesse is more than track stands
I got a word of advice for all of you hipsters
Go and get yourself some brakes and some shifters
I drop 2 g's on my Dura-ace
Cat one race and now I'm setting the pace
My brakes are tuned-up
I can stop on the dime
When I'm in the pack I'm always holding my line
My bike is so light and dialed in just right
I got my seat raised to just the right height
So I can pedal with efficiency
Don't mess with my cadence
I pedal to the beat
How you think I made this?

It's all about performance.
That's the name of the game.
I pump up my tires and I oil my chain.
Performance
That's the name of the game.
And I always ride through the pain.

All these hipsters think they're so tricky
With a messenger bag
On the back, on a fixie
Pedaling quickly down the hills
Don't blow out your knees and take a spill
An anodized chain?
Cards in your spokes?
How can you ride?
Your pants are a joke.
You can barely get your hands on your handlebars.
Looking kinda shaky when you're weaving through cars
You think it makes you look like a courier
It really just makes you look girlier
Is that a steel frame from 1988?
You might as well use it as an anchor weight

It's all about performance.
That's the name of the game.
I pump up my tires and I oil my chain.
Performance
That's the name of the game.
Carbon fork
Carbon stem
And aluminium frame
Ugh, God I gotta get a carbon frame

24/7 I'm in nothing but spandex
Cutting through the wind cause I'm aerodynamic
And when I slam it
It makes you look inert
Now I'm eating up hills
Like my name was Eddie Merckx
With my endurance
You don't stand a chance
My cardiovascular fitness level's right up there with Lance
Doing what I can
To shave off the seconds
I shave my legs
My girl she doesn't get it
I embrocate my skin
But I'm never doping
Electrolyte smoothies every morning for my focus
I smoke my opponents anytime, anywhere
You try to hang with me
I'll have you pedaling squares

It's all about performance.
That's the name of the game.
I pump up my tires and I oil my chain.
Performance
That's the name of the game
And I never feel the pain

It's all about performance.
That's the name of the game.
I pump up my tires and I oil my chain.
Performance
That's the name of the game
And I always ride through the pain