Mel Brooks – The Inquisition lyrics

The Inquisition, let's begin
The Inquisition, look out sin
We have a mission to convert the Jews (Jew ja Jew ja Jew ja Jews)
We're gonna teach them wrong from right
We're gonna help them see the light
And make an offer that they can't refuse
(That the Jews just can't refuse)

Confess (confess, confess)
Don't be boring
Say yes (say yes, say yes)
Don't be dull

A fact
you're ignoring
it's better to lose your skullcap than your skull

The Inquisition, what a show
The Inquisition, here we go
We know you're wishing
That we'd go away
But the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay
The Inquisition, oh boy
The Inquisition, what a joy
The Inquisition, oy oy

I was sitting in a temple
I was minding my own business
I was listening to a lovely Hebrew mass
Then these papus persons plunge in, and they throw me in a

dungeon, and they shove a red hot poker up my ass

Is that considerate?
Is that polite?
And not a tube of Preparation H in sight

I'm sitting, plicking chickens and I'm looking through the pickings

and suddenly these guys bring down my balls
I didn't even know them and they grabbed me by the scrotum and

they started playing ping pong with my balls

Oy, the agony
Ooh, the shame
To make my privates public for a game

The Inquisition, what a show
The Inquisition, here we go
We know you're wishing
That we'd go away
But the Inquisition's here and it's here to

Hey, Torquemada, whaddaya say?
I just got back from the auto-da-fé
Auto-da-fé, what's an auto-da-fé?
It's what you oughtn't to do but you do anyway

Skit skat voodely vat tootin de day

Will you convert?
No, no, no, no
Will you confess?
No, no, no, no
Will you revert?
No, no, no, no
Will you say yes?
No, no, no, no

Now I ask in a nice way, I said pretty please, I bent their ears,

now I'll work on their knees!

Hey, Torquemada, walk this way
We got a little game that you might wanna play
So pull that handle, try your luck
Who knows, Torq, you might win a buck!
Alright!

Put it in the car
In the car, in the car

How we doing? Any converts today?
Not a one, nay, nay, nay
We've flattened their fingers
We branded their buns
Nothing is working
Send in the nuns!

The Inquisition, what a show
The Inquisition, here we go
We know you're wishing
That we'd go away
So, come on you Moslems and you Jews
We got big news for all of yous
You better change your point of views today
'Cause the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay