Rodney Dangerfield – Rappin' Rodney lyrics

I tell you, I'm all right now
But last week I was in rough shape
I don't get a break with nothing

I played hide and seek when I was three
(No respect, no respect)
Why, they wouldn't even look for me
(No respect, no respect)

I was an ugly kid, I never had fun
(No respect, no respect)
They took me to a dog show and I won
(No respect, no respect)

When I was born, I brought no joy
(No respect, no respect)
My old man said he wanted a boy
(No respect, no respect)

I was an ugly kid, always alone
(No respect, no respect)
Halloween, I had to Trick or treat over the phone
(No respect, no respect)

Friends don't call
My phone don't ring
I don't get a break with anything
(What's the matter, Rodney?)
Ah, death, where is thy sting

[Chorus:]:
It's just rapping Rodney
Ain't wrapped too tight, no, no
Rapping Rodney, get out of sight
It's just rapping Rodney
Make no mistake
Poor old rapping Rodney
Can't get a break

I'm getting old, it's hard to face
(No respect, no respect)
During s**, I lose my place
(No respect, no respect)

Steak and s**, my favorite pair
(No respect, no respect)
I have them both the same way, very rare
(No respect, no respect)

I know I'm old, I could go any minute
(No respect, no respect)
I got a kidney shaped pool with a stone in it
(No respect, no respect)

Doctor Vinnie Boombatz
That's another one
(No respect, no respect)
I said I wanted to stop aging
He gave me a gun
(No respect, no respect)

I told him I got water on the knee
He gave me a sponge and raised his fee
(What's the matter, Rodney?)
It ain't easy being me!

[Chorus:]

Ah, give me a break
Play something from the forties

Now what kind of music is this
How bout Stardust

Hey, what are you doing
That's not Stardust

Listen to this, will you
I mean, where are the flutes

What a band
Hey, don't quit your day jobs

Look at this
The drummer carries the melody

Hey, tell the bass player
I like his instrument

Hey, boys, keep it going
Lay it on me
I'm in the groove

Nothing goes right, I just can't fight it
(No respect, no respect)
Eastern Airlines thanked me for flying United
(No respect, no respect)

I got some money, what did I do
(No respect, no respect)
I bought some quicksand
The deal fell through
(No respect, no respect)

My car broke down, I called Triple A
(No respect, no respect)
They left the car and towed me away
(No respect, no respect)

I can't take it no more
I'm getting too old
(No respect, no respect)
I called suicide prevention
They put me on hold
(No respect, no respect)

Winter, Summer, Spring, and Fall
I'm always up against the wall
(What's the matter, Rodney?)
I don't get no respect at all!

[Chorus:]

It's getting worse, it's caving in
The happiness I can't take it no more
It's all over

Hey, where are my kids
Somebody, help me
Hey, bartender?
Hey, who's that guy on my daughter?
Where's my wallet?
How do I get out of here?
Stop that dancing!