Stephen Colbert – Have I Got A Present For You lyrics

I can't believe what Christmas has come to today
All these atheists and judges trying to take it away
No carols in our public schools, no trees in City Hall
And they wish you Season's Greetings at the shopping mall
Ain't you sick of it all?

Well, there's a war on Christmas, it's under attack
But this year America's taking it back
Separate church and state, that's what some lawyer said
I say it's time we separated him from his head
You can call me un-Christian but that's not true
'Cause have I got a present for you
It's the though that counts

Christmas is as American as apple pie
It's a late December version of the Fourth of July
And they may go by a different name
But Uncle Sam and Santa Claus are one and the same
So boys take aim

Well, there's a war on Christmas, it's under attack
But this year America's taking it back
Separate church and state, that's what some liberal said
I say it's time we separated him from his head
You can call me un-Christian but that's not true
Buddy I got a present for you
I hope it's the right size

Oh say can you see this Christmas
Baby Jesus 'tis of thee
I'm placing 50 shining stars atop
The Statue of Liber-Tree
Then I'll go and jingle the Liberty Bell
Post Old Glory with an elf
And if you say I can't deck my halls
Then I'll deck you myself

Well, there's a war on Christmas it's under attack
Hey, this year Old Saint Nicholas is taking it back
He's firing guns from his reindeer, dropping bombs from his sled
This year if you were naughty, you're as good as dead
He wears red and white, and you can throw in blue
And has he got a present for you
And St. Toby has got one too
Yeah, we got a present for you
As in the aclu

Easy Rudolph, down boy