It all started normally. Life was beautiful. The puzzle piece was finally falling into place - mom and dad were happy, and all of the void was suddenly filled.
But just as fast as it seemed to come together, it fell apart. You don't feel safe in your home anymore. The walls are shooting in, screams flow from the hallway and into your ears. Your stomach turns; maybe it will stop? But it doesn't. The two people in your life who were infinitely in love are now your deepest, darkest secrets. You want it to go back to what it used to be, but it keeps worsening. They're fighting over the dumbest of things again. Who gives a damn about who wins the argument?
It's mentally damaging. The smallest spark of light that remained in your life was blown out. You scream, you pray, you hope.
It doesn't work.
Remembering the good times is gut wrenching. Forgetting it all would be the easiest, but every memory seems to haunt your soul form the inside out. You want to let it go already.
I love this song because of how personal it is, especially to Ashton. I believe that while we all know this song is vastly important to him, he maybe just couldn't sing it. His father had neglected him and his mother at a young age. However, while he seems as if he brushes it off of his shoulder, it must still occasionally haunt him. There is always that "what if?" factor. What if he stayed? What if I was too much of a bothersome child? What if I could've stopped it all? A lot of the lyrics and emotions in this song probably derive from how he felt at a young age. Ashton has mentioned on few occasions that because of his father's abandonment, he was left very sad at times. He and his mother were very low on money, and he would constantly find himself moving from place to place. Hungry. Tired. Feeling as if he was always a bother to those around him. His mind was most likely a sea of woolly blackness during a large part of his life. Divorce is not unusual nowadays; 50% of marriages end in divorce. You're not alone. Ever. It may feel dark and scary right now, but you'll make it out stronger than ever before.