We'd been friends for many years
Until I finally confessed
That I've always loved you dearly
But you were unimpressed
If I can never be your lover
I'll accept our destiny
And I'll embrace your gift of friendship
As I jack off constantly
[Chorus]
Oh, I'll be there to lift you when you fall
With one arm around your shoulder and the other on my balls
Oh, if you need me you just have to call
Cause I'll be next to you
Masturbating
[Verse 2]
1, 2, 3, let's do it!
Through the good times and the bad
I will do everything I can
Like if you ever need help moving
I can jerk off in the van
If your car breaks on the road
I'll grab my crank and pick you up
And we can drive away together
As I lotion up my junk
[Chorus]
Oh, it doesn't matter where our lives will lead us
I will always stand beside you, both in spirit and in penis
Oh, excuse me but I have to go dry clean this
Cause I've been next to you
Masturbating
[Bridge]
Look, I know this may seem weird, but it's not
Every friendship I've ever had has been like this
You should know that I'm not doing this for myself
It's partly for you, but most of all, I'm doing this
For America!
[Chorus]
Oh, tell me everything that's in your heart
This is Claire, we're gonna make out
You just go ahead and start
If it escalates to boning
It means I'm listening super hard
Cause I'll be next to you
Oh, wait, Claire brought a friend
We're gonna have a threesome
And a crowd of people's gathered
To watch me bang both her and Lisa
Oh, when this is done you and I are getting pizza
Cause I'll be next to you
Masturbating
Slash having a threesome with Claire
But still masturbating
[Verse 1] We'd been friends for many years Until I finally confessed That I've always loved you dearly But you were unimpressed If I can never be your lover I'll accept our destiny And I'll embrace your gift of friendship As I jack off constantly [Chorus] Oh, I'll be there to lift you when you fall With one arm around your shoulder and the other on my balls Oh, if you need me you just have to call Cause I'll be next to you Masturbating [Verse 2] 1, 2, 3, let's do it! Through the good times and the bad I will do everything I can Like if you ever need help moving I can jerk off in the van If your car breaks on the road I'll grab my crank and pick you up And we can drive away together As I lotion up my junk [Chorus] Oh, it doesn't matter where our lives will lead us I will always stand beside you, both in spirit and in penis Oh, excuse me but I have to go dry clean this Cause I've been next to you Masturbating [Bridge] Look, I know this may seem weird, but it's not Every friendship I've ever had has been like this You should know that I'm not doing this for myself It's partly for you, but most of all, I'm doing this For America! [Chorus] Oh, tell me everything that's in your heart This is Claire, we're gonna make out You just go ahead and start If it escalates to boning It means I'm listening super hard Cause I'll be next to you Oh, wait, Claire brought a friend We're gonna have a threesome And a crowd of people's gathered To watch me bang both her and Lisa Oh, when this is done you and I are getting pizza Cause I'll be next to you Masturbating Slash having a threesome with Claire But still masturbating Explain Request ×
Lyrics taken from
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