This song is about a problem that I have
Frequently
[Verse 1]
There are three, three, three kinds of erections
Some are sexual, some occur during
Periods of nervous tension
But there's a mysterious third kind
That no one really understands
It happens when your shlong decides
To take matters into its own hands
[Chorus]
No reason boner
No reason boner
It baffles scientists
No reason boner
[Verse 2]
This morning I was having breakfast
At the Midtown diner
The bagel was delicious
And the coleslaw couldn't be finer
Got a weird look from the waitress
When I asked her for the check
I looked down and realized
I was one hundred percent erect
[Chorus]
No reason boner
No reason boner
I like coleslaw but not that much
No reason boner
[Skit 1]
[Mailman] Hi! Welcome to the post office
[Danny] Thanks! I just need to mail this package
[Mailman] No problem, just place it on the scale
[Danny] Sure thing!
Oh! Oh god! I, I can't right now!
[Mailman] Why not?
[Danny] I, I have to go. I have a, uh, doctor's appointment at the dentist's!
[Verse 3]
Now things are a little awkward
Between my mailman and I
That was not my best lie
I was just covering up for my
[Chorus]
No reason boner
No reason boner
That was the wrong kind of package to mail
No reason boner
[Skit 2]
[Zookeeper] Hi! Welcome to the zoo!
[Danny] Great! I love the zoo! Look at all those monkeys!
[Zookeeper] Actually, those technically aren't monkeys, they're macaques
[Danny] Wow! Macaque's really hairy!
Uh, so, what time does the zoo close?
[Zookeeper] About eight o'clock
[Danny] Great! That gives me a chance t-- Oh god
Oh, not- not now! Not in front of the children!
Why have you forsaken me lord!?
[Bridge]
This is no laughing matter
This is not some kind of game
I can tuck away my Johnson
But I can never tuck away the shame
It can happen anytime
It can happen anywhere
When the Loch Ness Monster
Decides he wants to randomly come up for air
[Chorus]
No reason boner, oh!
No reason boner
You're ruining my life
No reason boner
[Outro]
No reason boner
No reason boner
Why?
...Boner
[Intro] This song is about a problem that I have Frequently [Verse 1] There are three, three, three kinds of erections Some are sexual, some occur during Periods of nervous tension But there's a mysterious third kind That no one really understands It happens when your shlong decides To take matters into its own hands [Chorus] No reason boner No reason boner It baffles scientists No reason boner [Verse 2] This morning I was having breakfast At the Midtown diner The bagel was delicious And the coleslaw couldn't be finer Got a weird look from the waitress When I asked her for the check I looked down and realized I was one hundred percent erect [Chorus] No reason boner No reason boner I like coleslaw but not that much No reason boner [Skit 1] [Mailman] Hi! Welcome to the post office [Danny] Thanks! I just need to mail this package [Mailman] No problem, just place it on the scale [Danny] Sure thing! Oh! Oh god! I, I can't right now! [Mailman] Why not? [Danny] I, I have to go. I have a, uh, doctor's appointment at the dentist's! [Verse 3] Now things are a little awkward Between my mailman and I That was not my best lie I was just covering up for my [Chorus] No reason boner No reason boner That was the wrong kind of package to mail No reason boner [Skit 2] [Zookeeper] Hi! Welcome to the zoo! [Danny] Great! I love the zoo! Look at all those monkeys! [Zookeeper] Actually, those technically aren't monkeys, they're macaques [Danny] Wow! Macaque's really hairy! Uh, so, what time does the zoo close? [Zookeeper] About eight o'clock [Danny] Great! That gives me a chance t-- Oh god Oh, not- not now! Not in front of the children! Why have you forsaken me lord!? [Bridge] This is no laughing matter This is not some kind of game I can tuck away my Johnson But I can never tuck away the shame It can happen anytime It can happen anywhere When the Loch Ness Monster Decides he wants to randomly come up for air [Chorus] No reason boner, oh! No reason boner You're ruining my life No reason boner [Outro] No reason boner No reason boner Why? ...Boner Explain Request ×
Lyrics taken from
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